Ep. 18: You're Scared to be Embarrassed

This episode is about the one habit that separates people who build interesting lives from people who watch other people build interesting lives: saying yes.

Not blindly. Not recklessly. But consistently choosing discomfort over safety and seeing what happens.

The Real Fear Isn't Failure. It's Embarrassment.

Most people don't avoid opportunities because they're scared of failing. They avoid them because they don't want to look stupid in front of people who aren't even paying attention.

You would rather not try something than risk being perceived a certain way by people who genuinely do not give a fuck about you.

That's the trap. And it keeps more people stuck than actual failure ever could.

Nobody Who "Just Goes For It" Is Comfortable Doing It

There's this assumption that people who take risks are just wired differently. Like it's easier for them. Like they don't feel the fear.

Wrong.

Every single person who steps outside their comfort zone is uncomfortable. The difference is they do it anyway because they know the outcome, good or bad, is going to teach them something.

Studying abroad alone across the globe with zero connections? Terrifying. Go kart racing as the only girl in a room full of competitive guys? Terrifying. Launching a podcast with no following on topics people might hate you for? Terrifying.

All worth it. Every time.

Stop Taking Advice From People Living Lives You Don't Want

This one needs to be tattooed somewhere visible.

If someone is in a situation you would never want to be in, their opinion on your choices is irrelevant. Not in a mean way. In a practical way.

You don't take driving directions from someone who's lost.

Be gentle about it. But be firm.

The Surrender Experiment

There's a book called The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. The concept is simple: say yes to every experience and make the best of it, even if it's uncomfortable or unexpected.

He documented what happened. It made him a multimillionaire. Not because the universe rewarded him magically, but because every yes led to a new person, a new connection, a new door. And those doors kept linking back to his main goal in ways he never could have planned.

That's the thing people miss. Saying yes to random opportunities doesn't mean losing focus. It means expanding the surface area for something useful to find you.

You Don't Lose Direction By Saying Yes. You Lose Direction By Saying Nothing.

The fear is that being open to everything means having no focus. But you can have a clear priority and still say yes to things outside of it.

Because when you talk to new people about what you're building, what you're looking for, what you care about, you never know who's going to say: "I should introduce you to someone."

That has happened to us more times than we can count.

Confidence Comes From Running Out of Fucks

For both of us, the shift happened at different moments but the result was the same.

For one of us it was a health scare that made everything feel finite. For the other it was turning 30 and realizing life is actually progressing and the timeline doesn't wait for you to feel ready.

Both paths led to the same place: I don't have time to worry about what people think because I'm too busy building something.

That's not arrogance. That's focus.

The Challenge

If you said yes to every opportunity that scared you for the next 12 months, how different would your life look?

And if 12 months feels like too much, start with one month. Just one.

Say yes. Show up. Be uncomfortable. See what happens.

Because the people who are living lives you admire? They weren't ready either. They just went.

See you next week, you hoes.